When the Fantasy Breaks: Telling the Truth About Online Abuse

For a long time, I thought staying quiet was the safest option.

Silence felt like protection. Like dignity. Like the “high road.”

But silence also gave space for misinformation to grow, for abuse to continue unchecked, and for victims—myself included—to believe that what was happening was somehow our fault.

Online abuse doesn’t always look like strangers in comment sections. Sometimes, it escalates quietly—from manipulation, to harassment, to cyberstalking—before you even realize what’s happening.

The Myth of “Just Log Off”

One of the most common responses victims hear is, “Just log off.”

If only it were that simple.

Cyberstalking and online harassment don’t end when you close an app. They bleed into real life—impacting mental health, personal safety, professional reputation, and even family members. When identifying information is shared, when third parties are encouraged to harass, or when lies are amplified at scale, logging off doesn’t make it disappear.

It isolates the victim instead.

Why I Chose to Tell My Story

Writing Nightmare in Fantasyland wasn’t about revenge or attention. It was about reclaiming truth.

I wrote it because victims deserve language for what they’re going through. And I wrote it because healing doesn’t happen in secrecy—it happens in clarity.

This book is part memoir, part warning, and part survival guide. It pulls back the curtain on how manipulation works online, how power imbalances are exploited, and how easily fantasy can turn into fear.